My Future Wife

Hey,

When's this mother-effer coming out on dvd?

Holy smoke.

Did you know that the girl's tennis team wears those little white skirts that show their bum every time they serve? I have consulted with my fellow colleagues, and this may very well be the greatest discovery since Columbus finding America.

Great Moments in Cinema History

The Princess Bride. Greatest Movie Ever?

I recently sat down and watched the Princess Bride for the first time. Holy smoke, that movie is amazing. It's got everything: awesome characters, Kevin from Wonder Years, kick ass fight scenes, and a great script.



"You keep using that word. I do do not think it means what you think it means."


"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."



"Inconceivable!"














"I hate for people to die embarrassed."

Spring Day

So, apparently Bentley has a "Spring Day." I don't know what in the hell that is, but there is going to be a concert. Now, who is playing at said concert?

Third Eye Blind - Chick band from the 90s that capitalized on the fall of grunge. Pure garbage.

But the second group. Oh my me. They are rap. Which you know, means they suck. BUT WAIT. They don't actually suck. So who is it? Well, it would be a delight for me to tell you. I guess you could say it's a Rapper's Delight.






That's right, bitches. The mother-effing Sugarhill Gang is coming to Bentley. I am more than excited. The general consensus here was "what the hell is a Sugarhill Gang?" Meanwhile, I was sitting with jeans full of cream just thinking about it. This kids today have no respect for the past. This is going to be so boss.

Moment of Silence

I am not one to get emotional, and I hate the people that put all kinds of lame quotes and song lyrics on their blogs. But today, I will break this rule. April 5 is the one day in which I have to let it all out.

Today marks the 15^th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death and the 7^th anniversary of Layne Staley’s. Both visionaries in music. They touched an entire generation with their words. And they both lived and died the same way. Helpless, alone, and frustrated with life. Cobain said:

“If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.”

Layne Staley did his last interview a few months before his death. No one had seen him for a long time, and he hadn’t recorded anything in 3 years (Another Brick in the Wall cover for The Faculty soundtrack was his last recording). In this time, he had become a recluse, hanging on to life with the help of heroin. He had lost all his teeth, weighed 85 pounds, and in some reports was missing fingers. He refused to talk to anyone except his relatives. He gave up, and accepted what was happening. From his last interview:

"I know I'm near death. I did crack and heroin for years. I never wanted to end my life this way. I know I have no chance. It's too late. I never wanted [the public's] thumbs' up about this f---ing drug use. Don't try to contact any AIC members. They are not my friends."

Such a sad way to go. And yet I can appreciate his feelings and what he must have been going through. Completely alone, knowing his end is near. He was dead for two weeks before anyone even discovered his body. I haven’t physically spoken to anyone in days. If I died

, I wonder how long it would take someone to discover me? It is sad, and depressing to think about. How someone could wither away to nothing. Here’s a poem he wrote during this time:

Core

Self-imprisonment
I suppose somewhere inside me
I yearn for freedom from
That which holds me stagnant
Over exaggeration turns underestimated
Emotion...
Emotion. Why the urgency to hide and
Slow the flow of that, which could,
And perhaps will, improve, and
Heal the burning inside?
I am protecting my pain
It is mine
And I so badly want to keep my
Pain to myself
But, in doing so I am hurting
So many who cross me, or care for me,
Aching for love and acceptance,
Only to throw you down in the latter
Of our shared love
Yet anger and guilt not shared
Between me and you
You are blamed for all that is a
Mystery within myself...burning
Oh, I pray that I might someday
Throw a blanket over that angry
Child
If the strength is found within the
Core of my being
His tears soak my heart and
Weight it down
I am drowning, and I am tired,
And so very, very lonely
I am.

I’m not saying I want to be like Kurt Cobain and Layne Staley, but that I already am. I, like so many before me, can identify with their music unlike any other bands before or since. And as I sink further into depression and loneliness, I still have their music to keep me company. They are truly missed. That’s all. From Angry Chair, off of Dirt:

Loneliness is not a phase

Field of pain is where I graze
Serenity is far away

Saw my reflection and cried
So little hope that I died
Feed me your lies, open wide

Weight of my heart, not the size

Peace, love, empathy,

KK