War of the 80s Properties

This is bound to be the most action packed summer of the century. Yes everyone, this year the two giants from the 80s are going to battling out once again. I am of course referring to GI Joe and Transformers.


First up is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Coming out June 24, this is the sequel to the 2007 Michael Bay shit heap. I was not a fan. It didn't feel like the classic show at all. Still, it was cool to see Optimus on the big screen duking it out with Megatron. And I loved that they kept Optimus' voice the same. But overall, it was just a bad movie. Look at the OG Transformers movie. That was epic. Orsen Welles in his final roll as the planet Unicron. I'm getting a hard-on just thinking about it. But I digress. Bay can make action movies. That much is true. But he can't create interesting characters that I can relate to or actually care about. And that's why I am not enthusiastic about the new flick. But who I am kidding, I'll probably still see it anyway. I am such a tool.




Next up GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Coming out August 7, this movie looks friggin epic. Playing Cobra Commander? None other than that little kid from 10 Things I hate About You. Ok, so that is a little weird, but it still doesn't stop my excitement. I don't even like action movies, and I am going to be there to see this opening day. It is going to be sick to see Destro, Snake-Eyes, The Baroness, and of course Cobra Commander on the big screen. Which reminds me. Did you know they sell a Cobra Commander action figure at Wal-Mart done up in the old school style? What an amazing Christmas present that would be...





So there you have it. Tansformers and GI Joe are both going to do great at the box office, but only one will reign supreme. It's a safe bet the winner will be Transformers, but I have a feeling Joe will be the one that fares better with the critics. Only time will tell.